I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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