We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
