Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
