Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He shit in the fireplace
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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