i jhust puked up my retainher.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
