My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
