My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
