Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize