You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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