She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
