i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
