Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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