Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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