i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
