jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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