i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
