I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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