I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize