Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
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