He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize