Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I need to sanitize my soul.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
