I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Can you repeat that, but with context?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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