Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize