Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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