Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
