Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
