She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
