Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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