I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
