We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize