My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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