Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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