I'm really into asian looking animals
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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