i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
