ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
