Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
