Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
