I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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