escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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