She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize