u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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