Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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