hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
