who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
