I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
If that was your dad, he is hot
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
