why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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