We're like a lot better than the average bears
This is not my ceiling
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
