Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize