How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
did i walk over a car last night?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
