we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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