now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
