there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize