We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
