I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
