Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize