In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
