Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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