I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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