i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
