those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
