I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
