i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
